Saturday, November 11, 2006

You know you're a TA when...

...you've learned the fine art of shrugs, grunts, and other advanced means
of communication...

...you know what they're going to ask you when they pull out the 6N H2SO4,
and you know what you're going to tell them...

...you'd like to have a read-aloud version of the lab manual to play for
students while they do their experiment, complete with a *ding* for page
turns...

...you get a kick out of reading, "factors that would have caused the slope to be off included noise in the instrument"...

...when a student asks if they can use the bathroom, you don't ask them why
they're asking you that; you just smile and nod...

…you recognize the signs of LADSS (Lost and Disoriented Student Syndrome) and start an appropriate treatment promptly….

...you hear the term "TA data" and cringe...

...when a student copies paragraphs from the lab manual in their lab report,
you don't ask WHY?...

...when students mistake a buret for a Pasteur pipet, you smile and then take it away from them gently and quickly...

...you've answered the question, "should I follow the lab manual?" at least 15 times... at least...

...you know that the 30-mL test tubes for exp. 10 have not been mysteriously
snatched by a disgruntled student -- they're baking in the oven...

….when a student squirts copper sulfate on their neck, you don’t ask, “WHY?”…

...you don't let students out of lab early because the fluorimeter lamp has
been on for over 2000 hrs...

…you’ve practiced the ancient art of evasion, and probed the mysteries of appearing to understand that which you have never heard before…

...you know to stop a student who's about to analyze a "homogeneous solution" with undissolved crystals floating on top and a cm of sludge at the bottom...

...when students are running TLC plates that are 1 cm by 5 cm, you realize that you've forgotten to stock TLC plates and they’re recycling scraps...

…you realize that the root of all evil is to not read the lab manual…

...when a student comes in with a pair of Viking horns and a clock they want to wear
around their neck, you realize it's Halloween...

...when a student asks, "Where's the lead solution?" with panic in their
eyes, you nudge the cabinet with your foot and grunt...

...Of course, I've been on the other side of this as the student who did all
kinds of silly, inexplicable, and unreasonable things, so maybe I shouldn't be saying anything...

:->

(I just sent this to the people I TA with!

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