The Funnies

Mom sent me these quotes and mini-stories from Reader's Digest:

Shouldn't the Air and Space Museum be empty?
----Dennis Miller

My wife was sitting in the crockpit of my fighter jet - her head
spinning as I pointed to the myriad button, levers and switches on the
control panel.
"Do you really kinow what each one of these buttons does?" she asked
"Yep," I said proudly.
Scowling, she then asked, "And I'm supposed to believe you can't figure
out how to run the washing machine?"
----Matt Dietz



While staring at a monkey in the zoo, one of my preschool students had
a question: "What does he eat?"
The zookeeper rattled off a long list of foods that the monkeys were
fed.
"Where does he get his food from?" asked the student.
"Oh, just the regular supermarket," answered the zookeeper.
My student wasn't finished. "Well, who drives him?"
----Michelle Mueller

Pity the poor insomniac dyslexic agnostic. He stays up all night
wondering if there really is a dog.

(Photo credit: Arthur Court Monkey Banana Holder with Bowl, only $85 at images.amazon.com/images/P/B00007H5C4.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg)