Saturday, October 24, 2009

At $300,000 a year, it's not all bad

Well, the former UIUC president and now the former UIUC chancellor are unquestionably guilty of ethical violations, and have resigned.

Ain't it great? Our campus is free, clear, and ethical now. I feel better. Don't you feel better?

Hmm... I wonder what they're doing now... doing time? Retreating to a South American country? Writing a tell-all?

Nope.

They're teaching.

Here.

It seems that we just can't get rid of 'em.

Which brings me to a question that's haunted me for years: what is the politically unpardonable sin?

White and Herman demonstrate that ethical violations aren't it. Bill Clinton amply demonstrated that perjury ain't it. B.O. demonstrated that sitting under a hate-spewer for two decades ain't it. But Dan Quayle showed that spelling "potato" wrong is. Huh?

"White, who teaches about ethics and leadership, will remain at the university as a business professor earning about $300,000 a year, as allowed in his contract. White also will continue to work on a fundraising campaign that was among his major initiatives." (From a September 23 article).

Lesson to students: if you get caught, cover your tail as long as possible. If that fails, resign. But don't leave! If your papers are in order, we'll pay you to stay on campus as a faculty member!

What about Mr. Herman? Surely he's history!

Oh no. "After serving as a special assistant to the president, Herman will become a math education professor at $244,000 a year and will have an office at the College of Education." (See the full article for more details).

We wouldn't want these two blokes to feel overly responsible for their past decisions, now would we? We want them to continue educating, now don't we?

Notice that in his letter to all us students Herman says that he "regrets the circumstances." What about regretting your actions, sir?

Lesson to students: if you get caught and are force to apologize, wring your hands -- not over your violations -- over being caught. Then brag on yourself, and most of all, stay close to the scene of your crimes.

Too bad the annual, required UIUC ethics training didn't cover admissions protocol.

Or would it have mattered? After all, they were issued by Blagojevich's office!

What a state!

But why should I be surprised? After all, we have a former? terrorist -- Bill Ayers -- on faculty in Chicago!

(P.S. So just who benefitted from Herman's improprieties? Well, a relative of Tony Rezko, for one. When I googled Tony's name, I turned over a rather ugly rock. It turns out that he jumpstarted the Senate campaign of none other than -- drumroll, please! -- Barack Obama!!!!

But, of course, I know that B.O. never has committed any improprieties in his life, and far be it from me to question the ethics of anyone tied to someone as illustrious as Tony Rezko!)


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Chancellor Richard Herman <chancellor@illinois.edu>
Date: Tue, Oct 20, 2009 at 12:30 PM
Subject: MASSMAIL - Message to Campus Community
To: All Faculty & All Academic Professionals & All Civil Service Staff & All Undergrad Students & All Grad Students <everybody@illinois.edu>



Dear Students, Faculty and Staff,

As you likely know, I have given the Board of Trustees my resignation.

It has been the great privilege of my life to serve for 11 years as your
Provost and Chancellor. I will not reiterate the complicated and agonizing
steps that have brought us to this place, except to say that I regret the
circumstances. I'm confident that Illinois will be stronger for all that
we have learned from the controversy. Ours is a great university--great
because of its distinguished history; its brilliant, dedicated and
hardworking faculty and staff; and its smart and idealistic students.

I am proud that many initiatives launched during my time will continue:
the 100 new faculty excellence professors, the ethnic and multiracial
studies programs, the Institute for Genomic Biology, and the Illinois
Promise Program that has brought 700 students from low income families to
campus with the promise that they will graduate debt-free. Yet I did none
of this alone. We did it all together. We achieved great things on our
watch because greatness is built into the bone and sinew of Illinois.
Never doubt it. Always strive for it. And remember that great aspirations
must always precede great achievements. The excellence and creativity long
embedded in our university was always the source of my inspiration.

I thank all of you for helping to make Illinois better. I prepare to step
down as Chancellor knowing that my contributions are left behind for
others to build upon, as I built upon the contributions of those before
me. It would be disingenuous for me not to acknowledge that my resignation
pains me deeply. But I do not worry about the University of Illinois.
Great institutions are stronger than any one person who leads them. And
Illinois is a great institution. As I return to become a member of the
faculty, I plan to do my small part to continue to contribute, and I know
all of you will do the same.

At Illinois, as always, we will go onward and upward.

Sincerely,
Richard Herman


This mailing approved by:
The Office of the Chancellor

--
This Message sent via MASSMAIL. < http://www.cites.illinois.edu/services/massmail/ >

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